One of the things about spending time on IRC that irritates me to no end. For as open-minded of a community as it is, the people involved continually prove exactly how narrow minded people can be. Many people want to see things as black and white, rather than the many shades of gray that exist in BDSM. For instance, tonight, the comment was made as such:
[00:24] < ----- > Domme .. A Domme calls a submissive ‘Theirs’ however the submissive can not referr to her as Mistress.. can someone explain the dynamics?
[00:27] < ----- > As a Domme.. if I call someone mine, they are mine … so how can they be mine, if I am not their mistress?

Now, I’ve been around the lifestyle a long time and I’ve seen many different relationship dynamics. Everyone enters D/s in their own way. You can’t judge another’s relationship based on your own personal criteria. I believe that you can be whatever you want to be, as long as you are with a like-minded person.

I can claim someone as mine without being their Mistress. Mistress is sacred, something to be built towards. She is mine, I protect her, I care for her, but I do not own her. We are building something together. Perhaps one day she’ll wear my collar, perhaps I’ll be her Mistress. But that will depend on how things go.

Please do not judge others by the criteria you set for yourself. Everyone is different, it’s one of the great things about life.